


How Not to Get Washed-up, Kidnapped, Tortured, and Killed Before Turning 18

by RaspberrySwish



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Bad Mentor, Conditional Love, Gen, Stephanie Brown Deserves Better, Stephanie Brown-centric, but like they think he is?, by saying horrible things, idk what this is sorry, is what im saying, just opinionated and hurt kids trying to keep others from getting hurt, not Bad Dad Bruce Wayne, okay not bad dad bruce wayne but, that they also kinda believe?, themes of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29519457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberrySwish/pseuds/RaspberrySwish
Summary: Steph wants to give advice to young sidekicks on how to not die quickly and terribly. Bruce thinks this is a good idea and lets her use a room in the Watchtower. She drags Jason into doing it with her. It no longer seems like a good idea.Or, how a boring assembly turns into two former Robins letting loose and showing some of their angry feelings about Batman (and maybe horrifying some Justice League members in the process)
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Jason Todd
Comments: 17
Kudos: 131





	How Not to Get Washed-up, Kidnapped, Tortured, and Killed Before Turning 18

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is one of those things that feels really good while writing it (which I did during lunch and the entirety of English : ) but then looks kinda gross editing but I'm still gonna post it anyways bc fuck covid writing slumps
> 
> Anyways this is like 95% dialogue and disclaimer: i've never written anything for this fandom before (technically i have but that doesn't count) but anyways i don't know it very well and my week and a half of obsession + the wiki pages + whatever mixmash of fanon, canon, and misconceptions I've picked up along the way isn't going to be like accurate at all? idk? So what I'm trying to say here is that there is almost definitely some stuff that's wrong in here, and I made stuff up every once and a while, so (kind) corrections are appreciated on details and whatnot
> 
> Okay so this was in part inspired by this absolutely amazing analysis on tumblr (which wont link rn bc tumbr hates me BUT) which you should take a peek at and totally won't break your heart
> 
> But anyways yeah! Let's do this

There were two people at the front of the room.

The room was full of costumed sidekicks. 

They had been brought there for some sort of assembly, like they were in grade school, hearing a lecture from the two costumeless, domino clad people in front of them.

This was gonna be boring as hell.

The woman spoke first, blonde, early 20s, maybe late teens, clasping her hands together for their attention.

“Hi,” she said. “My name’s Stephanie and I was a sidekick for three months.”

They groaned. 

“ _ Hi Stephanie _ ,”

The man next to her burst out laughing.

“Shut up Jason!” she turned and hissed at him, before straightening herself back out.

“You don’t have to say hi to me or Jason.”

“ _ Hi Jason, _ ” they said, louder this time.

Stephanie sighed.

“Both me and Jason worked for a major superhero in a major city. And before you ask, no, we can’t tell you which one.” 

She tapped her mask to prove her point.

“Because of this, we asked-”

“You asked,” Jason interrupted.

“ _ And you agreed _ to do a quick talk about how to manage working under a hero.”

Jason smirked.

“It’s called  _ How Not to get Washed-up, Kidnapped, Tortured, and Killed Before Turning 18.” _

“Using us as bad examples,” Steph oh so helpfully added.

There was a beat of silence as the young heroes squirmed.

“Now,” she said finally. “Step one, the most important step, is realizing that your heroes don’t care about you.”

The room stilled even further.

“I know this seems crazy; that your hero is nice to you, they do nice things for you, they have your back,-”

“They took you in, they helped you,” Jason added quietly.

“Exactly,” Steph nodded. “But that doesn’t mean they care about you as a person. They’ll be proud when you do something right, pissed when you mess something up, sad when you get hurt, but they don’t care about  _ you.” _

Jason took a step forward.

“And they  _ especially  _ don’t love you.”

“Thinking they give two shits about you is how you get hurt. Emotionally.”

“And physically.”

“ _ And physically. _ ”

They met eyes and Steph nodded.

“Now, I don’t know how long you’ve all been doing this, but I think some of you know they’re going to mess up. They are going to mess  _ you _ up. It’s just a matter of when and what you can do about it.”

Jason nodded.

“And now onto Step Two.”

“Step two,” Steph said. “You.”

“When you look at the people who make it, the ones who survive, there’s a pattern. Those people have other people.”

“Sidekicks — and I know, the word sucks, but there isn’t really a better one — who don’t wash out have friends, teammates, family,” Steph agreed.

“Those who  _ don’t _ have no one.”

“The  _ number one  _ risk factor for washing out,” Steph held up a finger, “Is your support system. The people you have there for you. Both me and Jason had criminal dads, and drug addict moms. We were on our own.”

“When my hero found me, I was a twelve year old homeless thief living in the worst part of town.”

“I was a small time vigilante, high school dropout and a teenage mom.”

They paused for a moment.

“We had no one.”

“For me,” Jason said after a second, “being a hero was everything. It was all I had. School, home, hero. That was my life. I lasted what, two, two and a half, three years?”

Steph nodded.

“I had one of those things. I lasted three months.” 

“Now, you may be thinking, ‘sucks for them. I have friends, my hero cares about me, they’re just old and jaded.’ And you know what? Great. Good for you, and I hope with all my heart that that’s true and you’re right and we’re wrong. But I’d take a second and reflect on the people in your life, the ones that know everything, that you can really talk to. Because I had friends. I had my boyfriend and I had my best friend. And he,” Steph gestured to Jason. “Had a parent in his hero. And it wasn’t enough.”

“The thing with your people,” Jason said, “Is that they need to be loyal to you and only you. Because when your hero messes you up-- and he will mess you up--your people need to be able to call them out and shut them down. They need to be in your corner. And they can’t do that if they’re beholden to your hero.”

“Exactly,” Steph added. “I had my people. Best friend and boyfriend. But they were all I had and they were too close to it. Where I had a mentor in my hero, they had a father. A family. And so they always had to take his side. And I ended up with no one.”

“The people you need to have,” Jason said after a moment. “Need to be able to call bullshit. You need someone, hopefully multiple someones, who aren’t reliant on your hero, who know the truth, and hopefully have the connections to make him realize his mistake, someone who can complain and get a hero he actually respects to do something about it.”

“And,” Steph said, “You need to realize that you can call bullshit whenever you want. For me, things happened so fast, after the big fights, the mistakes, that I don’t think I would have had time to call a friend at the end, for it to matter. But I could have before. If I had had someone to reach out to, to complain about how my hero didn’t tell me things, about how I was constantly walking on eggshells, about how I knew I would be fired and replaced at a moment’s notice, maybe I wouldn’t have been so eager to prove myself, or maybe I would have trusted my hero enough to tell him that I was going to bust a gang meeting. And maybe he would have trusted me enough to tell me he was undercover there, and wanted it to happen. Maybe I could have avoided it.”

“The difference between the sidekicks who make it and the ones who don’t are the people calling bullshit. Because all of us have to deal with our heroes not caring about us, about them projecting their issues onto us, about them getting mad and kicking us out and making mistakes. But the heroes who have them can turn to their people. The ones who don’t get desperate, and desperate gets us killed.”

There was silence for a second and the kids began to think they were done.

Then, only heard in the silence of the room, was a noise.

“God, I hate when they put their issues on you.” someone muttered.

“Ugh, I know right!” Steph cried out. “Like the sheer  _ amount  _ of bullshit I was working against in that department, like DUDE! I’m sorry that I don’t fit your weird sidekick stereotype, sorry you think I’m annoying or some shit and didn’t even want me working for you in the first place, and I’m sorry I apparently remind you of Jason which like ew — sorry Jason! — I totally didn’t ask for that and it’s just… The sheer  _ amount  _ of bullshit that comes with the job, it’s insane.”

There were claps and cheers of affirmation after that, prompting Steph to keep going.

“Okay,” she said, “So it’s like, did you know I’ve been ‘fired’ (air quotes) from superheroing  _ twenty-seven  _ times? Twenty-seven! What the fuck! And only like-” she counted something on her fingers, “ _ nine  _ of those had happened when I was actually working with him? This man literally fired me, a completely different superhero who didn’t even work for him at the time, for taking a selfie on the job. My mask was on! Like this bitch will try to ban me from superheroing at all, which he has  _ no  _ authority over, since I’m not his kid, not his hero, and it’s not  _ his city,  _ whatever, and I’m just supposed to go along with it? Anyways fuck that, I’ve been fired 27 times, probably 28 by the time he hears about this, and I’m still going out and saving people every night, no superpowers, no special training, nothing. So what I’m trying to say is  _ reach out to people _ . Call out bullshit when you see it. Be the _ friend _ for others to rely on. And most of all,  _ help people _ . Don’t let all this drama get in your way.”

“Now,” Steph said, rubbing a bit at her face, which was starting to turn red, “We have to go. We were already planning on saying some things that not everyone would agree with, and it kind of got out of hand, so-”

“So we need to get out of here before they get petty and shut down our temporary zeta tube pass,” Jason finished.

“Yeah. But first I’m gonna give you something.”

Steph pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and scribbled something down on it. 

“This,” she said, holding it up, “Is my phone number. You get in trouble, you get kicked out, you call me, and we can work something out, I’m sure Jason has a couple of safehouses lying around that he wouldn’t be too sad to lose.”

He shrugged.

“Fine, but I’m giving them the shitty ones.”

Steph smiled. 

“We both know you won’t. And hopefully none of you will have to use this number, anyways.”

It began to float around the room.

“But put it in your phone anyways. Use it for emergencies. Call. Text. Whatever you need. Then exchange numbers with the others in the room. Talk to them. More than anything you  _ need  _ people. And the fact that you’re here today is a good sign. I was only a sidekick for three months. I never got to go to the Watchtower, meet heroes away from all of my problems, people that could help me. Maybe it could have been different if I did. So reach out. I died, sixteen years old, after five days of torture, stripped of my role as a hero, a high school dropout and a teen mom without a baby. I was lucky to be brought back to life. And I know every day that it could have been the opposite.”

She smiled, and followed Jason to the door.

“But Gooodnight Waaatchtooooweeerrr! And remember. Talk to someone.”

***

Four rooms down, the Justice League members watching on the cameras let out a deep breath, taking a second before turning to the others.

No one spoke, and no one made a move to the door to stop them from leaving.

They just stood there, the few members that had happened to walk by and notice something playing on the monitors, and breathed.

Wonder Woman fiddled with her cuff, Green Arrow tried to hide wiping away a tear, and Flash just stood there, still, for the first time they had ever seen him.

They had no idea.

All they could do was take a second, and breathe, as the young heroes filtered out of the room, leaving them staring at an empty monitor.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> If people are into it/if I feel like it odds are this story might get a second part of the Justice League being like _...what the fuck_ but we shall see (stupid quarantine, Me starting a new series then disappearing for months is getting kind of embarrassing at this point) but I think I'm gonna try to only write oneshots for a while, see if that somehow works to get me writing again? I don't even know tbh
> 
> But like... thanks for reading, maybe leave a comment, I've been dumping my batfam stuff onto my misc tumblr sideblog which is @canthelptoloveit so maybe send an ask there if you want?


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